How To Church Shop
In our current age it can be a real struggle for someone to find a church. It's not because there's a shortage. The glut of options is overwhelming. Then there's the plague of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) which seems to be more and more prevalent. What if we pick a church too soon? If we start looking, how many should we visit? How many times should we visit them? We want to pick "just the right" place for us and our kids. Where do we begin?
I've heard this asked several times and, of course, as a pastor I've talked with countless people in the process. Here are some factors I would love to see more people consider as they look for a church.
First: Ditch the term (and the mentality) of "church shopping."This is not like going to Wal-Mart for a grill. You're not weighing the differences between Coke and Dr. Pepper, State Farm and Aflac, or Jeep and Toyota. You are not shopping. Does anyone use this phrase when looking at colleges? Do we use this phrase when seeking a spouse? Do we "shop" for a doctor to deliver our first child? We really don't. And why? It's because, instinctively, we know these things are too weighty and important to be downgraded with language like "shopping." Local churches are small representations of the universal body of Christ that has been loved by God, saved from sin, and purchased by the cross to praise and enjoy God forever. The church is the "bride of Christ" and Jesus "gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Let's not downgrade the search for a church with consumeristic language.
Alternative: Get acquainted with the biblical gospel (the good news of Jesus' life, death and resurrection that sinners might be forgiven and change for eternity) and look for churches that seem to make that message central to their preaching, worship and fellowship. Ask yourself: does this church seem to believe that everyone (even Christians) need to hear and be changed by the gospel continually? Here's a brief explanation of the essential elements of this good news.
Second: Abandon the notion that you'll find one that's "just right".A church is a community. A community is made up of people. People are messy. They hurt your feelings - sometimes on purpose. Not only this but, often, what's drawn them to a community of faith is the realization that they are sinners. Which means that it's a community of people engaged in a war against their own sin. They don't win every battle. And you don't either. Don't look for a perfect fit. You won't like every song that is sung. You won't like every sermon. You won't be BFFs with every person you meet. You must realize that often we love our "fantasy church" more than the one Jesus actually died for.
Alternative: Look for somewhere that you can imagine serving and being an encouragement to others. Is this church's mission something that you can "get on board with" and support? Go in with a mentality that you are going to support and serve with a joyful heart. Go in with the mentality that God will sanctify you through the people there. He will test out whether you really believe commands like "forgive one another" and "bear one another's burdens". Go in with the attitude that you are ready to be made more like Christ in uncomfortable ways. Go in looking for evidence of God's grace in the people there.
Third: Avoid "motivational" and "relevant" preaching that might seem counter-intuitive and provocative. Shouldn't we be motivated? Shouldn't the teaching be relevant? Well, yes, of course. BUT, don't assume that you are the best judge of what is relevant. Usually what we mean by these things is how the message makes us feel. If we feel good, we consider the message good. This is not biblical preaching. Yes, the Bible will often make us feel good BUT it will often challenge us, offend us, convict us, grieve us and painfully introduce necessary changes into our lives. This is what makes the Bible relevant.
Alternative: Find a church that preaches the Bible as God's Word - and I would add that the best kind of preaching is likely to be dedicated to making the main point of each sermon the same as the main point of each Scripture that is being preached. This is sometimes called expository or exegetical preaching. Avoid preaching that simply uses some words or ideas from a text as a springboard into whatever "buzz-word" topic the preacher wants to talk about. You'll often find expository preaching is going through whole books of the Bible one passage at a time and is often going back and forth between Old and New Testaments to give their people the whole scope of God's Word. Another pitfall to avoid here would be preaching that neglects to make Jesus the whole point of the Bible. Ultimately, the whole Bible is "Christo-centric" and good preaching recognizes that, even in the Old Testament, Jesus is the whole point.
Fourth: Avoid over-programming. The world already makes you busy enough and sends your family in twelve different directions at the same time. We often want churches to do something for us that is spiritually beneficial and then they do the same thing the world does: make us even busier, splitting our families in multiple directions. While this is inevitable and, to a certain degree, can be healthy (it's good, for example, for kids to have friends in the church they learn with) the church is supposed to be distinct from the world. If the goal of Christianity is simply to follow Jesus and help others follow Jesus to the glory of God, then I think it's safe to say the modern church has made this far more complicated than it needs to be.
Alternative: Find a church that challenges parents, especially fathers, to be the primary disciple-makers of their children. The word of God puts the responsibility, primarily, on fathers for the spiritual health and discipleship of their homes (Ephesians 5:25-27; 6:4). Look for churches that make a big deal of dads. Be counter-cultural in this age and find a church that is not embarrassed about godly, masculine dads taking glad, sacrificial responsibility for their households.
Conclusion: There are so many more factors we could consider. Modern worship music alone is a minefield that probably deserves a post of its own (in short - look for a church that sings songs with theological weight). For a list that's complimentary to this one you could check out this one from 9Marks. But the last thing I'll advise is this: Pray. You can do nothing apart from the grace of God (John 15:5). Ask God to bring truth and conviction from His word into your heart and mind that it might lead you to the church where He wants to use you for His glory and your joy.
I've heard this asked several times and, of course, as a pastor I've talked with countless people in the process. Here are some factors I would love to see more people consider as they look for a church.
First: Ditch the term (and the mentality) of "church shopping."This is not like going to Wal-Mart for a grill. You're not weighing the differences between Coke and Dr. Pepper, State Farm and Aflac, or Jeep and Toyota. You are not shopping. Does anyone use this phrase when looking at colleges? Do we use this phrase when seeking a spouse? Do we "shop" for a doctor to deliver our first child? We really don't. And why? It's because, instinctively, we know these things are too weighty and important to be downgraded with language like "shopping." Local churches are small representations of the universal body of Christ that has been loved by God, saved from sin, and purchased by the cross to praise and enjoy God forever. The church is the "bride of Christ" and Jesus "gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Let's not downgrade the search for a church with consumeristic language.
Alternative: Get acquainted with the biblical gospel (the good news of Jesus' life, death and resurrection that sinners might be forgiven and change for eternity) and look for churches that seem to make that message central to their preaching, worship and fellowship. Ask yourself: does this church seem to believe that everyone (even Christians) need to hear and be changed by the gospel continually? Here's a brief explanation of the essential elements of this good news.
Second: Abandon the notion that you'll find one that's "just right".A church is a community. A community is made up of people. People are messy. They hurt your feelings - sometimes on purpose. Not only this but, often, what's drawn them to a community of faith is the realization that they are sinners. Which means that it's a community of people engaged in a war against their own sin. They don't win every battle. And you don't either. Don't look for a perfect fit. You won't like every song that is sung. You won't like every sermon. You won't be BFFs with every person you meet. You must realize that often we love our "fantasy church" more than the one Jesus actually died for.
Alternative: Look for somewhere that you can imagine serving and being an encouragement to others. Is this church's mission something that you can "get on board with" and support? Go in with a mentality that you are going to support and serve with a joyful heart. Go in with the mentality that God will sanctify you through the people there. He will test out whether you really believe commands like "forgive one another" and "bear one another's burdens". Go in with the attitude that you are ready to be made more like Christ in uncomfortable ways. Go in looking for evidence of God's grace in the people there.
Third: Avoid "motivational" and "relevant" preaching that might seem counter-intuitive and provocative. Shouldn't we be motivated? Shouldn't the teaching be relevant? Well, yes, of course. BUT, don't assume that you are the best judge of what is relevant. Usually what we mean by these things is how the message makes us feel. If we feel good, we consider the message good. This is not biblical preaching. Yes, the Bible will often make us feel good BUT it will often challenge us, offend us, convict us, grieve us and painfully introduce necessary changes into our lives. This is what makes the Bible relevant.
Alternative: Find a church that preaches the Bible as God's Word - and I would add that the best kind of preaching is likely to be dedicated to making the main point of each sermon the same as the main point of each Scripture that is being preached. This is sometimes called expository or exegetical preaching. Avoid preaching that simply uses some words or ideas from a text as a springboard into whatever "buzz-word" topic the preacher wants to talk about. You'll often find expository preaching is going through whole books of the Bible one passage at a time and is often going back and forth between Old and New Testaments to give their people the whole scope of God's Word. Another pitfall to avoid here would be preaching that neglects to make Jesus the whole point of the Bible. Ultimately, the whole Bible is "Christo-centric" and good preaching recognizes that, even in the Old Testament, Jesus is the whole point.
Fourth: Avoid over-programming. The world already makes you busy enough and sends your family in twelve different directions at the same time. We often want churches to do something for us that is spiritually beneficial and then they do the same thing the world does: make us even busier, splitting our families in multiple directions. While this is inevitable and, to a certain degree, can be healthy (it's good, for example, for kids to have friends in the church they learn with) the church is supposed to be distinct from the world. If the goal of Christianity is simply to follow Jesus and help others follow Jesus to the glory of God, then I think it's safe to say the modern church has made this far more complicated than it needs to be.
Alternative: Find a church that challenges parents, especially fathers, to be the primary disciple-makers of their children. The word of God puts the responsibility, primarily, on fathers for the spiritual health and discipleship of their homes (Ephesians 5:25-27; 6:4). Look for churches that make a big deal of dads. Be counter-cultural in this age and find a church that is not embarrassed about godly, masculine dads taking glad, sacrificial responsibility for their households.
Conclusion: There are so many more factors we could consider. Modern worship music alone is a minefield that probably deserves a post of its own (in short - look for a church that sings songs with theological weight). For a list that's complimentary to this one you could check out this one from 9Marks. But the last thing I'll advise is this: Pray. You can do nothing apart from the grace of God (John 15:5). Ask God to bring truth and conviction from His word into your heart and mind that it might lead you to the church where He wants to use you for His glory and your joy.
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